I promised myself that I would keep my room clean. I would keep things in order,and I would make sure it never smelled like dirty clothes. This year, would be the year that my room would be nice enough to bring anyone into it, at any time.

Please, observe my room… 1 and 2 … as you can see… I didn’t keep the promise to myself.

In picture one, you can see what I ate my dinner out of… yes, that is a pot beside my laptop, and it is indeed 1/2 full of uneaten Kraft Dinner, I used to be able to eat an entire box!!! But now, not so much. There is also the beginnings of a tower of diet coke cans. Oh! But those curtains, yeah…I made them. They don’t open…yet! Give me time. And this seems like a good time to brag. The second shelf on that bookshelf, is full of rocks. …I actually just bought a titanium quartz rock. It’s completely man-made, but it’s pretty.

What they do is take quartz crystals and clean them and then place them in a vaccum chamber where it’s de-pressurized… using electic heat titanium metal is evaporated in the chamber. This causes a layer of rare metal to plate the entire surface and penetrates the crystal lattice. When the rock is back in the air, the titanium layer takes on an oxidized sheen… so its all shiney and stuff.

The second picture is basically how my clothes look all the time. …Usually I put on soemthing that I think will look ‘good’ then i decide that it doesn’t look good, or that I need to change my bra, so the whole thing comes off and another one goes on, then I decide that the first one was better, but maybe I should try a combination of the two… Then that doesn’t work out and I say fuck it and put on a pair of sweat pants and a sweater/t-shirt. …On busy days I just skip all that stupidity and wear the sweater and sweat pants. But the whole process makes quite the mess.

For quite a while, I’ve been meaning to do a post about body image and these spoof ads from Adbusters are a pretty good beginning. So I’ll link to those now, and post more later.

Link: Adbusters : Spoof Ads: Women.
Link: Adbusters : Spoof Ads: Men.

Also, during my incredibly boring orientation today I made some observations about the girls around me. I came up with a very simple guide on how to look perfect… it pretty much involves changing the color of all dominant features… I drew a picture on the card that we were supposed to be writing our goals on. I forgot to include things like owning a LV purse, and apparently, drinking soda water is also the ‘it’ thing to do.

Today I learned what a blog crush is.

Lots of folks in the blogosphere use the phrase "blog crush."  (If
someone can tell me with certainty who coined the term, I’d be happy to
assign credit!)  As I understand it and use it, a "blog crush" refers
to a profound degree of admiration, intellectual attraction, and a
certain desire to emulate the writing style (or life habits) of the
blogger on whom you are crushing.

(The post goes off on a bit of a religious tangent, but…that paragraph ^^^ is basically all I wanted anyway. heh.) So today I make my confession that I have a blog crush on someone who has commented here a couple times, and writes a fantastic blog… which I should probably comment on… Stentor. My ‘real life’ crush or ‘half boyfriend’ (as we seem to be calling it) introduced me to the site last year… (the site actually…won’t load for me today…). It is listed in my blogroll already - Debitage.

While I’m at it, I’ve also added Hugo to the blogroll - the site where the blog crush schtuff came from. I like his stuff. But not enough to have a blog crush.

I always find those posts about what google searches bring people to their sites so entertaining… in fact, I think they’re so great *I’m* going to do one, because the google searches that have brought people here, are in fact, pretty frickin’ halarious.

So here are 10, sort of randomly selected (i made sure to get the funny ones) google searches that bring people here:

1. "kneed in testicles by a sexy woman"
2. "freedom + lovin’"
3. "how to be a debutante"
4. "against me politics of staving"
5. "spell debutante"
6. "parents of gay children"
7. "largest underwater creatures"
8. "Matt Fuery"
9. "Octopus Penis"
10. "Lick my filthy octopus"

Interesting I tell ya, now…in order to not dissapoint these people, I feel like I need to address each of these 10 things. I will start at the very beginning (a very good place to start! thats from my mom’s favorite movie.)

1. I know I’m not a ’sexy woman’ but in the past 2 days I have kneed my friend Jordan in the testicles a couple of times. I’m well aware that doing this to a guy is pretty mean… but I tell ya, he deserved it.

   The first time was when he found it necessary to start humping my leg in public. This isn’t the kind of behaviour that warrants any sort of respect, so bam.

   Another time was sort of an accident. He was on my bed and declaired that he could beat me up. Well, I showed him…and then accidently landed my knee right on his nads in the middle of a wrestling match.

2. There are a couple things I could do with freedom and lovin’. One would be to deal with them as seperate terms, but that ‘+’ in there dictates that I probably shouldn’t take that route. So, how about "free love" that’s freedom + lovin’. Honestly, free love merits an entire post of it’s own. It’s commonly known as a social movement that disses up marriage because it’s a form of social bondage and a prime player in that evil little thing called the patriarchy.

   It is often linked with promiscuity, however, historically the free love movement didn’t advocate for multiple partners at all. It’s more or less exactly what the term says… you have your love, but you don’t regulate it with laws and paper work. It can be a polyamorous relationship, sure, but not everyone who was/is into the free love movement is screwing everyone they see.

   Free love is also part of the feminist movement (although criticized
   by some feminists) as it breaks the traditional role of a woman having to get
   married and have a family…etc. Instead it leaves the door open for women (and
   men…) to leave their marriage and pursue other aspects of life, or love.

3. Now as for learning how to be a debutante, I’m not exactly sure what to say. Join a wealthy family and present yourself as ready to be married? Or walk outside and proclaim that it is your debute? That is the best advice I can offer.
4. For this, I will simply point you in a helpful direction. Feel free to click here, searcher. Maybe it will help you out next time.
5. dee, ee, bee, y-oo, tee, eh, en, tee, ee
6. I’m not really sure why there needs to be support groups or anything for parents with gay children. It’s their choice, and their life. Chances are once they turn 18 you’ll have very little to do with their lives anyway. But I myself went ahead and googled "parents of gay children" and there happened to be a lot of sites for parents who need help coping with who their children decide to have sex with and be attracted to.

   This one has a funny subtitle, "Can we understand?" Of course you can! You were probably in love once too! You got butterflies at some point when that ’special guy/girl’ walked into french class.

   I have a bit of a story for this one. I lived with a girl in my first year of residence who is gay, and her parents just flat out denied it. And what’s worse, the girl that my friend was seeing…the parents hated and would bad talk her all the time to my friend, even though they knew they were seeing each other. My friend would have to take down her lesbian pride stuff when her parents came to visit, just because she was afraid they would cut her off finacially or get pissed at her and make her life a living hell. So sad.

7. I don’t really know anything about underwater creatures, I do have these videos of the octopus though, which I’m assuming is what brought the google search here in the first place. He isn’t the largest octopus, but he is the species that grows to be the largest. Maybe one day he’ll be the biggest, but right now, he was pretty little. I’ll go back in a year or 2 and see if he’s gotten any bigger. I will also direct this bit to PZ’s site, who happens to know a hell of a lot more about underwater animals (cephalopdes really…) than I do.
8. I have a few things to say about this fellow. Well, not even a few. He is a huge tool. He used to be some big kung fu guy, and a pro wrestler, so people think that his motivational work out videos will help them be big and tough too. I have no problem with people wanting to work out… if you’re into the whole ‘moving around’ thing, good on ya.

   However, Im not into how Matt Fuery does it. I made a post a while back about him calling fat people pathetic. Bryan also made a couple posts on the stupidness that is Matt Fuery. Read those… then decide if Matt is worth your time.

9. If you really must know about this one, I will tell you what I know, and it may, or may not be true. But this is what the guy at the aquarium told us. The octopus has a special tentacle that they keep retracted until it is time to mate. At which point it puts that tentacle into the lady octopus where it stays all through the pregnancy and then dies inside of her…and it may or may not fall out. Lovely ain’t it??
10. This, is probably the funniest one. And for it, I have drawn what came to my head after reading it:
    CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PHOTO

When I read things like this it makes me wonder why poorer foster parents who can barely sustain themselves and their familes can get children or why people who end up to literally be murders can get kids… - but fantastic gay couples have difficulties.

Foster parents locked their three-year-old in a closet for two days to attend a family reunion.
Unspeakable horror in Ohio — the little boy died and the foster dad
burned the body to cover up the crime — after sending police on a
massive manhunt to find the “missing” child.

My exact first reaction was what Jay Andrew Allen’s comments.

But, of course that’s preferable to letting Marcus live with a…a…gay couple. Goddess knows what would have happened then. I mean, he might still be alive! And maybe even (gasp!) happy!

When I lived in Bothwell there was a low income family who were given rights to raise foster children. I moved before the foster kids ever made it, but from what I heard they ended up leaving 6 months in because the family couldn’t sustain the 2 foster kids, plus their own 2 kids.

At the same time, one of my homosexual friends and his partner are trying to get some kids, foster or adopt, and they’re having the hardest time finding people to write recommendation letters saying that they’ll make good parents, based almost entirely on the fact that they’re gay.

So lets consider our options here for a child, a hetero family that will lock the child up in a closet and burn the evidence that he ever existed, a low income family that doesn’t have the money to support a child…or a gay couple with a fantastic apartment and tons of money at their disposal.

Oh, but wait…now I remember, the gay guys are living in sin, and aren’t offering up a proper mother figure. …Honestly, my friend’s boyfriend is more of a ‘woman’ or mothery type than I’ll ever be.

I can’t even find words to describe how I feel about the 3 year old boy dying. It’s so tragic, so I’m so incredibly heartbroken but at the same time pissed off beyond reason. Stupid, STUPID people.