Allen just sent me the link to this guy, and I must say. I am completely amused and very happy that this guy is so fucking awesome.

Seriously go to his site and watch the videos and look around. Very funny stuff.

So my friend Katie here asked me to start writing for her
blog, as a “guest blogger” I suppose, yet the whole idea of a blog eludes me
somewhat. Is it like a zine…on the internet? Right? I think someone told me
that at some point. Anyways just to give you the jist of me and kishbots
relationship and a semi formal introduction to me so that you’re all not dazed
by my random appearance on this site, ill give a short handed play version of
our history together….as MAN and WIFE.

HAHA Just kidding. We’re totally not married. Or ARE we…

Im calling it Fantastic Friendsness because it
totally sounds homo.

Act 1:

Katie: Yo guy you’re like totally eating alone in ninth
grade high school…you should totally eat with me and my friend Lorie.

Allen: That like totally sounds awesome.

Katie: Sweet

They all eat together since then.

Act 2:

Allen: Yo BITCH in tenth grade high school with me.

Katie: Yeah guy!

Allen: Im like totally in love with…guys.

Katie: No shit? (Katie was a bit sad…she totally wanted to
bang me. THAT RIGHT I WROTE IT)

Allen: Yeah way . Im totally gay.

             Allen was
gay since then on….GAY FABULOUS.

Act 3:

****BLUUUUUUUR****

Katie and Allen danced the nights
away in multiple classes that Allen can no longer remember at the moment.
(D.A.R.E. MOMENT!!! YAY!!)

Act 4:

Katie: Im like totally going to Guelph university after this year in twelfth
grade high school.

Allen: You’re like totally dumb and should not go away (sad)

Katie: I GO to Guelph after!

Allen: Im gonna take an extra year of high school even
though I graduated already!!

Katie: Allen is dumb as a fucking chicken

Allen: I agree

              Katie is a douche and goes to Guelph like the douche
she is and Allen stays in high school like a bigger douche.

Act 5:

***BLUURED****

Allen:drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsCLASSdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsCLASSdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
CLASSdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs
drugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugsdrugs

Katie: Im a douche bag for being Guelph

Allen: I totally agreed in this victory lap high school
year.

Act 6:

Allen: Im like totally in art school

Katie: Im like totally IN Victoria.

Allen: !!!!

         Katie and
Allen hooked up with your mom and it was awkward.

Act 7:

        PRESENT TIME!!

So that’s the play. Yeah I know its supreme shit so shut the
fuck up. If you wanna send me a better version then you’re free to do so. Till
then that will do. You might be wondering…”was that “art school” I read?”. Yes
I go to art school, and yes you just read that im gay, and you might be
laughing a bit. I agree, it is funny, because it plays into all the supremely
wrong gay stereotypes so laugh it up. But if you’re laughing because you’re a
fucking dirt bag bigotassed homophobe…then shut the fuck up you laughing pussy
bitch. So…that’s me my names Allen (if
you didn’t get that) I’ll be writing more about random stuff and I like lists.
So I make them sometimes. Here one:

Things I learned about Katie just before I wrote this thing:

1. She
   has a blog
2. She’s a feminist?? (FEMINAZI? KATIE? RING A BELL!?)
3. She’s
   a campus nerd who participates in campus activities like douche
4. She totally still wants to bang me…probably. (And I probably would let her
        because we’re totally still in love)
5. She totally just banged your dad…probably.

I haven’t done one of these in a while, Gordo keeps track of the news really well. I know I link to him all the time, but I don’t think enough of you are going over there. So I link again. It’s also thanks to Gordo that I know the date every day.

Anyway, I don’t have much because… I don’t feel like searching through news right now. And I’m just going to post the headlines… without comment, I think. Unless something really pisses me off.

The U.S. government warned American private financial services on
Thursday of an al Qaeda call for a cyber attack against online stock
trading and banking Web sites beginning on Friday, a source said.
The source, a person familiar with the warning, said the Islamic
militant group aimed to penetrate and destroy the databases of the U.S.
financial sites.

Canadians are starting to get less and less food to eat. …First beef, then … I dont remember, but there was something else, and now ham. wtf. just eat it. as my roommate would say "the only reason we keep getting sick and keep getting cancer is because we live for so fucking long now" LoL.

The Canadian Food Inspection Agency is warning the public not to
consume certain Honey Baked Ham Company brand cooked ham and turkey
products.

The CFIA says the products may be contaminated with listeria
monocytogenes, which can cause can cause high fever, severe headache,
neck stiffness and nausea.

Forever, I will maintain that good hockey, is clean hockey. No fights, no assholes… none of it. Good. Clean. Hockey.

A former Norwich University hockey star who ended up on life support
following a brutal attack in Toronto over the weekend died from his
injuries Tuesday.

This bit of news just… made me laugh. Sorry. …*giggles*

Unaware of his fate, a two-year-old dachshund barked while chained
to his dingy, wooden house, as South Korea slaughtered hundreds of dogs
and pigs in efforts to stem the spread of the deadly H5N1 strain of
bird flu.

The dog’s owner, Im Soon-duck — like many villagers –
was more concerned about losing her three pigs than the dog, which was
a present from her daughter in Seoul.

They eat dogs. hahahaha. sorry… ha

Convicted killer Colin Thatcher won full parole Thursday, 22 years after his conviction for murdering his ex-wife.

He plans to spend his days out on the family ranch near Caron, Sask.

… Out on the family ranch KILLING HIS FAMILY!? I can see the headline in a week "Convicted murder gone missing" fuuuck offfff.

We all know I could go on… and on… and ON about this next one...

The highly charged debate on global warming reached the US Supreme
Court yesterday, prompting the justices to question the impact of auto
and truck emissions on the environment, what must happen to rescue the
world’s coastlines, and whether the Environmental Protection Agency has
to help stop the damage.

…

Climate scientists estimate that pollution from US cars and trucks
account s for 6 percent of the world’s greenhouse gases; the states
argue that they’re suffering harm because the EPA is dragging its feet
and won’t use its authority to set strict limits on carbon dioxide
emissions. But the EPA, backed by the White House, contends that it
doesn’t have the power to do so and that even if it did there is no
hard evidence linking emissions to global warming.

But you know.. .I’ll just leave it.

Okay, this picture made me laugh so f’n hard.

Via zuzu

I asked a friend what I should blog about and her answer was "boys!" this was after we spent an hour talking about her ex-boyfriend and her current crush, while at the same time I was talking to another friend who was giving me the disgusting details of the random head he received in a forest tonight and then talking ANOTHER friend who was complaining about being lonely and not having a boyfriend…

People always ask me about me and my boyfriend, …they apparently forget that I don’t have one. So then they ask about my most recent ex-boyfriend and they always get all "I can’t believe you’re not over him!!!" after I end telling them how he is… and then I get confused because I say "Uh, I am" and then they say "but you’re talking about him!!" yeah… because you asked… its like they *want* to create drama.

I really don’t understand. My friends aren’t stupid… well, most of them. We can talk about literature, philosophy, science and news, but they all chose to talk about relationships and I don’t really understand why. I remember a couple years ago my friends and I all went camping and we were sitting up at 4 am talking about philosophers and philosophy… it was the coolest talk in the world. I wish my friends and I could sit around talking about that more often… Instead of past parties, boyfriends and sex.

Don’t get me wrong, I like talking about sex. And parties are halarious to talk about. And boyfriends………….. But like seriously… intelligent people shouldn’t focus their lives on trivial things. This is why I like calling Alon, we get in a fight about something that isn’t about relationships, or sex, or anything like that. Its usually something like the purpose of women’s studies, or … I don’t even remember out past fights. But they’re at least interesting and take more thought than just saying: "WAaaaa my boyfriend doesn’t get me!!! whaaaaaaaaa" …shhhuuuut uuuuupppp.