I had read Hemant Mehta’s book “I Sold My Soul On E-Bay” before, and I just finished reading it again in preparation for his talk that he’ll be doing in Toronto come June and the interview for my radio show that will inevitably follow (actually it is likely to precede).
There were a couple things in his book that I wanted to touch on. I’m not one for writing reviews that say “it was written really well!” or “his imagery was breathtaking!”… The points I wanted to talk about in regards to I Sold My Soul On E-Bay are his confusion and dislike of ritualistic churches, his seemingly simple use of the words “if you want to appeal to me” and his emphasis on discussion as a tool.
Hemant discusses in his book (and in other interviews) the churches that appealed to him the most and why. And in contrast which appealed to him the least, and why. One of the things that didn’t appeal to him were the seemingly useless traditions and rituals. I’m assuming he saw this quite often in catholic churches, and less often in other churches. He sees people going through the motions as if they don’t understand what they’re doing or aren’t thinking really about what they’re doing. Instead they’re just … doing it.
I agreed with Hemant the first time I read the book and that was often a point I brought up with people when getting into a discussion with them. I agreed that a lot of the time people didn’t think about why they were doing something and just did it because they were supposed to. After a while these just become motions engraved into their minds. However, I brought the topic up with a group of people once who made me look at it a little bit differently. They told me a story about about a time in a session that they had played a piece of music and then asked those present to reflect on that particular piece of music.
When it came to the part in the evening where they were able to share anything that they had reflected on one man shared his experience of finally finding meaning in a ritualistic hand movement that he had been doing for years. He finally made the connection. I think Hemant is right in the sense that some people give it absolutely no thought what-so-ever. That could be because they don’t have the spiritual guidance to ask the right questions to find meaning in that movement or it could be because they’re just putting in their weekly time as to get to heaven. But for others there is a deep connection found once they meditate on the motions.
I can see why rituals would be really unappealing to someone who had never seen them before - but to others it is the absolute best way of connecting the heart to the mind. Another aspect of this is that engraving these types of things into people makes it easier for churches to connect them emotionally to it - I’m speaking more in terms of ritualistic things such as music, in this case. By playing the same hymns at different times in the year it creates an emotional connection to that particular time and moment. Some music has been so deeply saturated in my sub conscious that when I hear particular songs I cry. I’m not religious, but I hear them and I just break. It’s a ritual - if there is no meaning behind the song, it doesn’t do anything but when there is it is so powerful - just like rituals that seem pointless to outsiders.
One thing that for some reason “bothered” me (I put bothered in quotations because I’m not entirely sure if its the word I want to use…) was Hemant’s constant conversation to christians with the words “if you want your church to appeal to me” … I just kept thinking “why would they want their church to appeal to you?” The church doesn’t want super open minded, freethinking, questioning, atheistic… etc etc etc youth in their church. From all the churches I’ve been to, they’d rather I didn’t go. The kinds of churches that are desperately looking for congregation members wouldn’t have the time of means to answer the questions of freethinkers, and those that can afford time and money to devote to those questioning already have a strong enough following that they don’t care.
Acquire The Fire strives very hard to appeal to youth. CHRISTIAN youth. They don’t care if they appeal atheists. They already have an army of christian youth. What I’ve learned by living with a minister is that the church isn’t trying to appeal to freethinkers or atheists or get new members. They’re trying to keep their current members entertained enough that they don’t fall asleep in church.
And in relation to this - you can write a million and a half books about how a church can better appeal to a wider audience but the fact of the matter is that you’re dealing with a lot of “old” people who are incredibly stuck in their ways. Those little churches with boring sermons don’t welcome rock bands and wildly outrageous atheist discussions in their sanctuary. They like their old hymns, played on their old organs, sang by their old choir and followed by old sandwiches and cold coffee. They don’t want to change this. They don’t want a 25 year old atheist mixed in with their crowd.
My step-dad has been fired from various churches because he has proposed the exact change that Hemant is ‘preaching’ (heh). He has proposed discussion groups instead of sermons, he has tried to modernize the way people think, he has tried to perform gay marriage in the church, he has attempted to bring more youth in via music and youth events… but the old folks simply don’t go for it. It’s not as easy as flipping the coin and saying “okay! we’ll do it this way now!” because it’s been done the old way for a very long time.
But, this leads me to my final thought on Hemant’s book, and that is the need for discussion. My radio show isn’t an atheist show, it’s not a show on skepticism or anything of that sort. It is on faith. Because I want to hear about everyone’s faith - how they got there, why they do with it, why they believe its the right faith to have… etc. I love it when C4C shows up at the Guelph Skeptics events and they start hammering us with questions. It starts a discussion. The only time I have enjoyed going to church was when I’d get to go off to “sunday school” and talk about things with the rest of my class.
I wish there was more room for clam and rational discussion. It seems like bringing together progressive christians (like my step dad) and soft atheists (like me) is for some reason difficult. People are so afraid of finding similarities so they stop the talk before it even begins. I often find that I have more in common with my christian parents (in terms of faith and religion) than I do with my secular/freethinking/atheist friends. I really wish that more people would open up their minds and mouths and realize all these similarities.
Anyway - I really like the book. I like that Hemant and I seem to share a brain when it comes to thoughts on religion and faith and the church. So much of what he has written are things that I had experienced myself. (I didn’t have someone give me money to go to different churches - I just do that on my own time and dime.) Give it a read and then come hear him speak at U of T in June! WOO! (I’ll post more info on that as it is available)
