Dear loyal readers, forgive Katie for mentioning “2 Hot Girls in the Shower.” (They’re not that hot btw, plus, no boobage is visible). She is still sick with flu-like symptoms and clearly her usual discerning sense of taste is not all there. If Katie were not sick, I’m sure she would suggest you go watch the Midwest Teen Sex Show. First off, as the name suggests the show is about sex, but it’s not porn. It’s educational! (Well, actually, some uptight scumf*cks might consider it to be porn, but these people are crazies). The Midwest Teen Sex Show, is made somewhere in the mid-west of the good ol’ US of A and it’s sex ed that is fun. And funny. And informative! If only sex ed were taught in school the way they did it on the Midwest Teen Sex Show…I’d actually remember something from those classes. All the sex ed I did learn was either from the awesome Loveline radio show, surfing the internet, or *gasp* my parents. My parents were smart, they gave me good books on sex. The first one I got and arguably the best would have to be the Where did I come from? book. They later gave me others, but Where did I come from? was the best. It describes orgasms sooooo cutely! It says they are satisfying like a BIG sneeze. To a degree that’s true, but the best way to know what an orgasm is is to have one. Actually, don’t have one, have MANY for orgasm are just awesome.

Anyway, for funny stuff, check out the Midwest Teen Sex Show. At the moment, I know I have good taste in funny things. Heck, I know I have good taste in general. Yep, in music for example, I’m listening to the soundtrack from The Fiddler on the Roof as I type this.

On another note, this is my first post on Katie’s wonderful blog. I think it’s a decent post, no? If you think so, say so in the comments. If you don’t, shut up, you’re wrong.

I look forward to blogging a helluva lot more here.

I was in the middle of cleaning my room and happened to call Pharrell to complain about the fact that I was cleaning my room. At some point I sighed out “I wish I was blogging, my blog get neglected” to which he replied… “I’ll write for your blog!!” and before I knew it I was somehow agreeing to let him write what ever to wanted to, and to share my space.

So I guess this is my formal introduction to Pharrell. He’s been added to the contact page and about page… crazy. I’ve had a lot of co-bloggers in the past, none of which stuck around. But perhaps he’ll be here for a little while, we’ll see.

Just for the record, Julia Roberts is not attractive. At all. Her lips are HUGE and her face isn’t right.

All of this was true pre-Jordan and now is true post-Jordan. (It’s been post Jordan for 5 months already, which seems really weird… I watched P.S I Love You yesterday and cried through the entire thinking wishing that I’d have known Jordan was going to die like they knew Jerry was going to. So there could have been a goodbye… Anyway, this is depressing.)

I was chatting away last night with a boy I’ve been seeing for a while. When out of no where he was like “where is this going?” and I was like “where is what going…” and he was like “Us, you need to start making time for us if we’re going somewhere.” …me, confused “I..I…can’t *make* time. That’s humanly impossible.” …P.J is not impressed “Don’t be cute I’m being serious”… the then goes off and tells me the following list (which he had written down!) about why I’ll never have a boyfriend for more than 2 weeks.

1. No time - This is 100% true, well… no it’s not. I make time for things I need to make time for. I work a 40 hour work week, and take the bus everywhere I go (for work that turns my 8 hour days into 10 hour days). I’m the president of a student club, and vice president of a Canadian charitable organization. I volunteer and write a lot for CFI and then I have three blogs that I am supposed to continuously prepare content for. Not to mention I have a couple people who I must stalk during the day, and I need 7 hours of sleep. So really, I don’t have time. But when I was long distancing with Royimous I made time for him… plenty of time. The time difference was SHITE, but I managed to put aside a lot of time for him. (I think LDing is easier for me…lol)

2. A hardcore and passionate atheist - When he said this I was like “uh, no shit.” but then he elaborated. P.J is not an atheist. He doesn’t think homeopathy is weird or a rip off. He doesn’t understand why my being involved with CFI, FAC, CSA, SSA and UGS are important. So that made it really hard for him when my excuse for not being able to do things was “I can’t, I have a UGS thing tonight” or “I can’t, I’m using my days off to go to Toronto for some CFI stuff.”

So it’s true. If I’m going to have a boyfriend for more than 2 weeks, he’s going to have to be just as into the whole secularist movement as I am - or he won’t get why I spend so much of my time doing what I do with them.

3. You’re Slightly apathetic -Not being the first person to tell me this, I had to get him to explain this a little bit. He said something like this “Well, it’s not that you don’t care. It’s that I see you get so angry and passionate about some things that are religious, philosophical or political. But even if I kicked you full force in the box, I don’t think you’d get mad at me. You’d just shrug it off. GET MAD AT ME.” …weird, eh?

4. You’re Pretty hard to impress -This tied in closely with the last one. I remember Alon telling me once that he told his new girlfriend “It’s easier to impress a cactus” That made me laugh for a while. I don’t remember the example he gave (but I’m sure he’ll post it if he remembers) but it was funny too. Anyway, P.J knows this isn’t true.

I’m not impressed by other people saying things that they think are original or weird, or off the wall. You can’t tell me a story about how fast your car is, how pimped out your computer is, that you beat GTA 4, that you can make a room full of people laugh, that you’re so weird you shit bats and expect me to care. Now, where he’s wrong is that he did some CUTE stuff, and I was impressed. And listening to people argue about science, philosophy, etc is impressive. Like when I heard Dr. Jeffery Shallit talk about how creationists abuse mathematics - I was hardcore impressed.

5. 3 hour phone conversations - I don’t do them.

6. You can’t manage “sexy talk” - …Like on IM, it’s just weird. Well, not weird. But I feel kind of silly. There is absolutely NO connection what-so-ever talking like that over IM. Phone or in person, sure… because there is at least a connection of the real you.

7. You’re picky… - He didn’t convince me of this one. It’s easy - smart and pretty. (Well, *my kind* of pretty… which usually just means “smart and funny” a writer is always a plus.)

8. You’re indecisive about life - …This is true. One day I’m going to be building a school in Africa helping African children get into universities and such the next minute I’m going to be living in a loft in California somewhere writing amazing books and then the next minute I’m going to be in school for the rest of my life studying rocks. …I don’t see why this is an issue though, if something came up that seemed like a good idea I’d go for it. He claims that this is hard to plan the future around - but if the future that is planned seems like something I’d want to do - I’ll do it. Getting married, buying a house and becoming a house wife in Guelph for the rest of my life isn’t something I’m going to do. Getting married and moving to Toronto (or any large city, just not Guelph or smaller) and both studying/teaching …sure, that sounds good. Having kids next year? Not likely. In 3 - 5 years? Yeah, sure that’s doable. …I’m not indecisive because I don’t know what I want to do. I’m indecisive because I want to do a lot of things and one clear path hasn’t formulated in front of me yet.

9. You’re not interested in a 2 month “thing” - yeah, because I’m not 15 anymore.

So that was his list that I couldn’t believe he made. Who honestly comes up with LISTS about other people? Anyway… that ended that because I won’t stop attending FAC meetings, agree to be married in a month, pretend to be excited over things and talk on the phone all night.

I can’t wait for the Sex and the City movie to come out… 28 days.

Katie says:
i dont know that i have a lot to say. theres really just 2 things i want at this point …. the first is drugs the second is hugs.
Tyler says:
no drugs, hugs are better
Katie says:
drugs are also good.
Katie says:
im not talking like heroine. alcohol would be fine.
Tyler says:
well that’s a little better

That pretty much sums up my mood for the day.

Also… favorite songs of the day:

Ice Cream - New Young Pony Club
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
Move Your Feet - Junior Senior

I can be the sauce you crave.
I can spell what you can’t say.
Chocolate flavored love theme
Treat that treats you so mean
Covering your nights and days.

Let me give you what you’d like.
I can make your mouth run dry.
Drink me like a liquor
C’mon and dip your dipper
Show me what you’re here for, guy.

I can give you what you want.
I can make your back real taut
Fantastic flavor fancies -
Sick like Syd and Nancy -
Wicked as a joyride jaunt. 

• He plays mario really well and opens up that secret for me to get unlimited lives
• He would punch boys in the face for me.
• It was hilarious to watch him interact with Alon when they met
• His “i don’t care” attitude is very complimentary to mine
• We co-founded the “I Hate Everyone” group
• Sometimes he has a bald head that is sexy.
• When I broke the key to his house in his door and couldn’t feed his cat while he was on vacation he didn’t kill me.
• He finished off a bottle of moonshine and woke up the next morning…
• After shaking on both Christmas and Birthdays - I’ve never had to worry about buying him a present.
• He is my only male friend that doesn’t incessantly stare at my boobs, and if he does, it’s because there is something on them and he thinks it’s funny. Or he’s trying to hide things in them.
• He is by far my easiest friend to please. “What do you wanna do tonight?” “Nothing.” “Sweet.” *both remain lazed out on the couch*
• We had movie nights… where we alternately picked the movie.
• He put up with my “finger dinosaur” through far too many jurassic parks.
• Never in my life have I met someone who reads less than he does, but still comes off as well read.
• Walking. Dictionary.
• When I get a house, he’ll fix everything that breaks.
• He can cook. Mmm. Mark food.
•  he listens to good… or at least decent … music
• I never would have discovered Chocolate mint tea from tim hortons if not for him
• He has a strong affliction for Risk
• Even if I move to India for 12 years and don’t keep in contact with anyone, when I come back he’d still love me.
• He refuses to appease me.
• His facial hair isn’t lame.
• Through all of my horrible hair phases he never once cracked and told me any of it looked okay.
• we probably spent more than 80 hours together just sitting on a couch eating chocolate and watching that 70’s show.
• his watch is pretty neat
• he is a geek…
• Our conversations can consist of one word answers and he understands everything I am trying to convey - and vice versa
• If there was one person in the world who i would want to take the world over with - it would be him. because we wouldn’t care enough to kill the other person in the end of it all.
• He watched good tv
• He still talks to me, even after I admit that I have no idea what “American Gladiators” is…
• He has a super nintendo, and he let me have it for the better part of a year
• He was in the audio visual club in high school - yet never got beat up…
• Definitely a geek… but like a cool geek.

This was compiled after my dearest best friend told me that I don’t talk about him enough on my “e-diary”… I love you Markus.