This is really the only recent picture I have of me that is full body - I tend to avoid them.
Last night I weighed myself and I am officially the heaviest I have ever been (again). I have no one to blame but myself… I spent the majority of the summer working midnights at an inbound Ontario-only call center (so we got like… 3 – 5 calls a night). There were a lot of McDonalds and pizza nights, so I ended up gaining back all the weight that I lost last year. My guess is that I weighed more before we took our trip to Italy since I came back a pant size smaller.
So, I am back on Weight Watchers and this time it’s the real deal. I’ve never been a “fat pride” girl, but I’ve always been pretty content being plus sized. I’ve never really felt the urge to be a size 4/6 or been (too) jealous of those who are. I like my curves a lot, actually. However, I want to be curvy… not lumpy. And more importantly – I want to be healthy. I am really sick of feeling heavy, and constantly scared that I’m going to die young of a heart attack or something… that’s not something a 24 year old should be thinking about! So for the sake of my love for John, our future kids and my desire to see the world for as long as possible … I need to do this properly this time.
The new WW is fantastic… you get more points overall (I don’t even use my points up in a day…) and all fruit/veggies are 0 points – which is amazing… because I love fruit. But it means that things like bread and chocolate have gone up quite a bit. But so far it seems to be working. I’ve traded in my evening munchies for grapes and light popcorn instead of …pizza, wings, candy, chocolate, peanut butter sandwiches.. etc etc etc.
I plan on doing the full on before and after shots, with updates with pictures every three months or so. My goal is to lose 100 lbs over the next year – 2 years… (my more immediate goal is to lose around 50 – 60 lbs before I go to China at the end of next May) I’m taking it slow and not pushing myself since we all know that’s how you become successful. This will really be about making better habits and life decisions to live better for the rest of my life.
I mentioned a while ago that I started dieting pretty hardcore. …Cutting my calories by like 65% and biking everyday. It went really well for the first month (-9 lbs!) but December was a bit of a hard one (-4 lbs …) and January isn’t looking so good (I haven’t weighed in yet). It’s hard to get in shape in the Winter, so I’m looking forward to the summer. But I’m still eating pretty good (no chips or candy or crap) and I get on the bike once in a while…
I guess the most exciting update is that I’ve lost 19 lbs! Almost my first 20 lbs! …So I’m only 51 lbs away from my weight loss goal and I have 9 months to do it. That shouldn’t be too hard.
It’s really starting to show and I’m really starting to feel the difference. My old pants fit again, my bras are gigantic on me, and my shirts are getting baggy. So, success is still here! And it really feels great. I can’t wait for summer… 
So my mom had just told me how proud she was of her sober daughter. …Then that weekend in Seattle I broke my project. I wasn’t going to tell anyone, because only the guy I was with saw me break it… So really, I could have kept it good and secret… But then tonight Ashley bought me beer and I drank 2 of them and smoked some weed. Well, I didn’t actually drink 2, I drank 1 and had about 3 sips of the second one – so it sits mostly full beside me. I don’t think weed was part of project de-crap, but I know for a fact that beer was. …So after 35 days of sobriety I caved and within 3 days drank 4 beers.
I guess 4 beers isn’t so bad. …I didn’t touch the hard liquor – but other people did, and that is why I have a random girl whom I don’t know puking all over our bathroom… Sick. But I finally got to meet Molly. Molly is to Ashley and Samie is to me… So I met my roomie’s Samie. And she’s great. (That would be her in the picture, I probably picked the most unflattering one ever, but it’s funny. She’s a cutie.)
And what do I love most about her? She wants to be a jedi too. So instead of watching the usual hours of Sex and the City, we watched Return of the Jedi. Woo! Anywhoops. I need to be at work tomorrow earlier than I’d like to be, so I need to sleep now. Penelope by Pinback is a wicked song… I will upload it one day… When I’m less tired.
So I changed my blog roll a bit, I moved my 5 most read blogs to the top and took off some of the blogs I wasn’t really reading. I removed I Heart Your Blog, but not because I didn’t LOVE that blog – but because Erika isn’t blogging anymore. … But now that I go look again, she might be. I’ll keep my eye on that – because I really do <3 that blog, Erika is a doll… Go read her archives, they’re so great. I took off a few others, you probably won’t even notice! Yar.
I was swamped all week with school work, but it’s finally stopped now. Sooo I should be back more regularly. Tomorrow will be devoted to catching up on e-mails (i promise!) and getting some interesting schtuff up here. If anything it will be a good distraction from applying to jobs that I don’t even want. Yay! Denny’s is hiring! – You have no idea how horrible I am with customer service. For serious, yo.
This weekend will be my third weekend of no smoking or drinking or any of that stuff! There is a party on Saturday and a work outing for the music producer’s girlfriend, but I don’t think I’m going to either, so no tempting there. I honestly don’t think I can even stand the smell of alcohol still.
Anyway, I miss Sex and the City – so it’s time to go and rekindle our love.
After hooking my laptop up to all my regular computer things… (monitor, speakers, keyboard…etc…) I can barely tell the difference between it and my actual computer. Except my laptop is a lot slower and doesn’t reboot at any random moment. Which is nice.
I managed to get skype working, and I’m even downloading The L Word… It’ll be finished in 9 days… -_- … So I have that long to figure out what I need to install to make videos work. (My attempt at watching Lord of the Rings failed, which is probably for the best.)
I am a little pissed that I’ve been spending 40 minutes on my hair to get it looking nice for the past…how ever long, and today I let it dry all on its own without touching it and it looked exactly the same. F’n hair.
I usually don’t think things on the onion are that funny, but this is really funny. I would link to more, but instead of reading blogs tonight I was on facebook for a solid 3 hours. I don’t even know what I was doing. Time just flies on that site. Its like a secret class reunion, you get to sit there and laugh at how ugly some people have gotten, and swoon at how adorable other people have gotten without being seen. I love it.
Tomorrow I am off to a city for radio things. …I think like 3 people outside of the station know I’m going. It’ll be a long day… a long day to enter into my first weekend of no drinking or smoking. …les sigh. So far project de-crap has been going well. The only hard part is when I walk outside of a building and there are like 8 people standing there smoking… It just hits me like a giant cloud of mocking.
But I’m pretty sure it’ll work out just fine. …Anyway, I need to go do some readings for class because I haven’t done any yet this semester and I feel like I should do something since I’m paying for the classes and all. I’ll probably let my blogging slip a bit this weekend. I’ve been in a pretty shitty mood…and I need to focus some attention on my other internet areas and computer fixing and radioing.
I still haven’t done my proposal. :S
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