It’s 6 am, I went to bed 2.5 hours ago. I’m having this eerie and depressing flashback to first year University. The only difference is that now I don’t have Alon to talk to all night to feed my chronic inability to sleep. I don’t know if it was the mini jihad rally outside my door or my constant worrying about getting things done that has woken me up - but which ever it was now appears to have me wide awake with no hope for rest this evening.

I guess the one benefit from this is that my blog can have a little attention, seeing as it hasn’t had any in well over…. …. I don’t even know. A long time.  What is keeping me from writing on this dear little things? Class and work. I wake up, i go to class, i go to CFI, i go back to class, i do labs, i try to sleep and then i do CFI work. It’s depressing.

My classes aren’t horrible, and that’s always good. Except that I’m behind in two of them.

ENVS 2100: Culture

The nice thing about this course is how easy it is to sound smart in the tutorials. Everyone is an idealistic starry-eyes “hope-for-the-future” second year environmental studies student. This means they havn’t quite learned to disagree with whats being fed to them, and are really just looking for a way to save the world. …I remember when I thought I was going to save the world. Topics in this class have ranged from subjectivity/objectivity, hegemony and “facebook” (yeah, it was as bas as it sounds), technology as a way to control society…, etc.

ENVS 2300

This is my other 2nd year foundations course, but the students aren’t so idealistic, at least it doesn’t seem like it yet - to be fair only one person spoke in my tutorial last week and he is a 60 year old man who has seen enough of the world to know it can’t be saved. This is pretty much my favorite class for a few reasons - Ilan, the prof, is a really good prof. He’s intelligent and entertaining. He tries to tell jokes that aren’t always funny, and knows that we can’t sit there and listen to him for 2 hours straight. Also, my TA, Douglas is great - well, I’m assuming he’s great. I haven’t really had much interaction with him yet. But he’s studying exactly what I want to be studying, so that’s always a bonus. He studies urban development and environmental planning in sub-saharan africa. Neat.

ENVS 3340 - Global Environmental Politics

I thought I was going to love this class, and for the most part I do. But I am WAY behind on the readins, and the essay that is due in like 3 weeks is going to take an incredible amount of time to write. I’m not used to essays taking more than 2 hours, so it’s going to be a bit of a challenge. The prof is really great to listen to.

ENVS 3520 - Geographic Information Systems

I hate this course, and I’d drop it if I weren’t already only doing 4 courses, and if it wouldn’t cost me like $50 to drop it and if I hadn’t already bought the nonreturnable text books. >< It’s horrible. The labs aren’t that bad, but my TA is SO unclear about how they’re supposed to be submitted, so it’s super stressful. The class is at a bad time, and it’s really boring to listen to. The prof seems really smart, but is more monotone than any prof I’ve ever had. …I guess the only bonus is that there is no essay to write.

The only other thing taking up my time is CFI stuff. But it takes up a lot of time… I’m almost regretting taking the job. It’s nice that I get to do something that I’m (moderately) passionate about and something that isn’t repetitive (for the most part…but really it is sometimes). But Justin makes me feel REALLY bad if something doesn’t work, and I don’t have activist blood in me anymore. I used to get fired up over things, but now I couldn’t really care less about a lot that happens. I also don’t have as much patience for volunteers as I thought I had. I love volunteers, and I think they’re really helpful and important. But I wish they were more self sufficient and self sustaining. …It’s like I’m doing 8 different jobs right now, and with school packed on top I’m burning out a lot faster than I ever thought I would. I’ve never had an issue of “too much stuff”, but I’m reaching that level now. On top of all this I still have to produce a radio show each week, which admittedly is getting pretty neglected. A lot of my interviews are taken from other people, which is fine and all, but isn’t the reason why I started the radio show in the first place.

It sucks because usually this is just a matter of poor time management. But… I get most things done well in advance of their due date, because I know I won’t have time. I’ve has a paper written for my ENVS 2100 course for 2 weeks now. Its not due till next week, but I knew I wouldn’t have time. My time management is better this year than any previous academic year, and I’m still slipping behind. BUMMER.

And to top it all off - now I can’t sleep and I’m getting those disgusting migraine, lightening bolt headaches again that started when I was at Future Shop. Yay! One day I’m just going to fall over, and stay on the ground in the fetal position until they carry me away to a mental institution. (If you become insane do they call off your debt?)

This has all been pretty negative. Some positive things in my life!

Cristine! Yay! I see her from time to time and we talk and hang out and eat chicken. I miss her a lot….
Cassie! She’s back at school and no longer hiding in the forest planting trees and she brings smiles to my face.
Allen! Although with his new job I don’t get to see him much, and when I do I have to bug him about CFI stuff (sigh.) he’s still the most amazing person in my life. <3
Andy! Brother andy works like less than a block away. I find this comforting.
My mom ripped out the green carpet! It was the ugliest thing thing the world…
My room! I like the room that I’m renting quite a bit. It’s big and bright…and I have four plants and cool pictures on the wall. I’ll get around to taking pictures of it once it’s clean and complete.
James! He wrote a sports book and it’s apparently selling well and etc. I’m super proud of him.
and of course…
John! … We spend pretty much every possible second together, and then miss one another when we’re not together. It’s cute and I love it and he keeps me sane, happy and put together. I don’t know where I’d be right now without him.

I guess I’ll start being more productive with my time, and go and write a paper or something. It seems like the logical thing to do with my life right now… Maybe if I do something productive I’ll be able to sleep because I’ll be thinking about fewer things and tomorrow I won’t be feel like I’m going to have a meltdown any second……maybe.